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Word to The Wise


A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.
Bill Cosby

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No offense


Why do people say "no offense" right before they're about to offend you?

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A Real Girl


A real girl isn't perfect and a perfect girl isn't real. 
Harry Styles

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When I Was Growing UP


When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realise I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin

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Auto-correct


That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like "I've Got Nothing Man".

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I hate mosquitoes


I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free.

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Brain Is An App


Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it.

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